Joker's Song
by Reader128
Summary: Written with Chi loves bolnd akatsuki. What would drive the Joker crazy? What would wipe that smile off of his face? Read to find out! Crack-fic!


This was written with Chi loves blond akatsuki.

Disclaimer: We do not own Joker, Gotham, or this song (or anything else in this story, except for the girl)!

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**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Joker's eyes popped open at a blood curdling scream that he had nothing to do with. He tried to move his arms only to discover that he was tied to a column. The hot pink and purple ropes covered him from feet to neck. Now, normally (if that word can be applied to the Joker), he would not mind the screams (or the colors of the rope but that is a different topic), but this was going to far! He wanted to be the cause of the screams dang it! He looked around the room (as best as he could tied to a column) and he saw a girl behind a tiny round plant. She was holding a mp3 player that was replaying that scream over and over and over and you get the point. When she saw that she was awake, she hit stop.

"Hi!!I'mDaiku!I'mlikesohappytolikemeetyou!Youarelikemyidol!IamlikeyourbiggestfanEVER!!Doyouwannaplayagamewithme?!Iwannaplayagame!Letsplayagame!Silenceisconformation!So,I'llaskyouagain,doyouwannaplayagame?!Okay,here'sthegame!I'mgonnasingasongandseehowlongittakesyoutolikefreakout,okay?!Herewego!"

The girl, now known as Daiku, said all of this without taking a single breath. Joker didn't have time to process what she said so he could object to her "game."

"Now, here are the rules. I say a line in a song and you try to figure out what the next word is. Kinda like those singing songs that used to come on tv. Okay? Are you ready to play? I thought so! Here we go!"

"What if I don't wanna play?" Joker asked in a whiny voice.

"For every line you don't answer at all, I'll give Batman an... embarrassing picture of you! For every line you get wrong, I'll leave you tied up for another hour alone all by yourself with nothing to do and like no one to talk to! How does that sound?" she asked in a sing-song voice. "Are we ready? Here we go! The first line goes like this: There was an old farmer who lived on a rock, he sat in the meadow just shaking his...?"

"Umm.... cock?"

"BBZZZZZ BBZZZZZ!!!! THAT WAS LIKE SO TOTALLY WRONG!!!! That's one hour! The right word was fist! He sat in the meadow just shaking his fist at some boys down by the crick, their feet in the water their hands on their...?"

"...tick?"

"NO!! THAT WASN'T EVEN IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS RIGHT!! That makes two! Their feet in the water their hands on their marbles and playthings and at half-past four, there came a young lady, she looked like a...?"

"Whore?"

"THAT'S THREE!!!! She looked like a pretty young creature she sat on the grass, she pulled up her dress and showed them her...?"

"Socks?"

"You are just not that good at this game are you? That makes four. There are only twelve lines in this song. Anyway, I forgot to tell you what you get if you win.... There are twelve ropes tying you up. For every line you get right, I remove another rope. Get it? Got it? Good! Now, do you still wanna play?"

Joker's mind was working, chaotically of course, quickly. His smile had faded quite quickly after the second line. 'Where was that stupid bat when I need him?' he thought, 'he always shows up whenever one of us villains tries to pull something, so where is he now?'

"So, are you like ready for the next line?"

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Batman, who had been watching the entire thing from a ledge nearby, decided to let this young girl have her fun. He would watch and make sure that the Joker didn't hurt her if he got free. Seeing Joker struggling to come up with words to THAT song was just a bonus. Batman settled down on the ledge for a long wait, he had to make sure that the Joker didn't somehow free himself during the twelve hours that he was going to be in that room.

---------------------------------------One hour later------------------------------------------

"Well, Bruce, that was fun. We should really do that again sometime. I gotta get home. Dick is probably worried about me," Daiku said.

"Thank you. Alfred, can you show Mrs. Grayson how to get out of the cave? I need to get the Joker to Arkham... once his other eleven and a half hours are up."

"Of course, sir. Come along, madam."

"Okay, Alfred. See you later, Bruce."

She left to the maddening screams of Joker as he had nothing to relieve the boredom of twelve lonely hours. Those sounds were music to the ears of the former Robin's wife.

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**AN: Reviews are very much welcome. Chi wanted me to type out the rest of the song in that manner, but I decided not to... even though she was sitting right in front of me telling me not to leave the rest out. Now! Who can tell me what that song was, hmm? If you know, tell me in a review, please.**


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